Is the news just turning into one of those bizarre headline contests between Stephen Colbert and Stone Phillips?

Exhibit A: “Fire Battalion Chief Cliff Steedley told The Island Packet of Hilton Head Island the frightened goat plunged as much as 50 feet into Broad Creek.”

Exhibit B: “Mahoney says no charges have been filed but both lanes of traffic remain closed while authorities remove the cookies.”

Exhibit C: “When the Cabinet told Juliana such a pardon was impossible in the modern era, she had difficulty accepting it, and asked whether all prisoners could at least be served cake instead..”