Ducks 1, High-Speed Police Chase, 0
TONIGHT ON DATELINE...
To Order Drugs and Kool-Aid, Don’t Dial 911
Unlike Flavor Flav's 911 needs, this Florida fellow's calls were, um, less legit...
Harassing 911 Is Probably Not Anyone’s Job
The business model for a company specializing in 911 harassment is simply not practical.
Words Can Hurt: Ro-Butt Edition
The key lines from this past week.
Getting Arrested While Covered In Crisco Makes A Man REALLY Smooth
Still, this naked Crisco guy may have had a better week than Randy Travis.
Who am I? I’m that guy, over there
Police have yet to comment on rumors that the suspect shouted "You'll never take me - I mean, him - alive!" as he fled.
Supercuts… like a knife
If I had to be defined by three words, I don't know what they'd be, other than hopefully not "arrested during haircut."
Not All Stabbers Detect Sarcasm
Do you want to guess what the response to this question was?
I’m Smooth AND Meta
Many are meta, many are smooth, but only one is both.
There Are Three Things That Matter in Crime: Location, Location, Location
Where one attempts a robbery can often play a big role in how well said robbery turns out. Like, say, trying to rob the bank across the street from the courthouse. While the cops are inside.