Irked By Raccoons
Raccoons are pretty irksome.
Knows Owner Of Ring
Shari is well-connected.
Found Snake At Target
"Alone in the canned goods section"
Got Paycheck In Pennies
If I had a penny for every time this happened to me...
Had Beer Can Casket Built
How about a toast to this guy.
Couple Marries At Local Dunkin Donuts
Going to the Dunkin and we’re Gonna get maaaaarried
SPAMbassador
A SPAMbassador can explain why a person can't have egg, bacon, Spam and sausage without the Spam.
Wedding Ring Found In Septic Truck Reunited With Owner
They washed the ring first, though.
Made Bernie’s Mittens
The mittens heard round the world. Or at least the world of Bernie Sanders memes.
Man Uses Flamethrower To Melt Snow
Tired: snow shovels Wired: snow throwers Inspired: flamethrowers