My wife pointed me toward this wonderful list of incredible English movie subtitles:

I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.

The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

How can you use my intestines as a gift?

This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

When I finally sit down and write my screenplay (“Pyromaniac Hobos in Boxcar Heat”) I’ll make sure these quotes are in there, and that the subtitles use more standard language. It’ll be my own little literacy program!