The 1988 Crystal Light National Aerobics Championships
I'm fuzzy about the how and why of an aerobics competition. Aren't we ALL winners when we work out?
Hot Potato
The soldiers' only redeeming quality is that they dress well and attack in formation – they're like an evil synchronized swimming team.
Disorderlies
If you pay close attention to the dialogue, you'll hear the boss chew the trio out for eating 16 chocolate cakes"for the fifth time in a week." That's eighty cakes split among three guys - Kool, Buffy and Markie each gained 42 pounds that week in cake alone.
Pulgasari
Pulgasari has something in common with Kool Aid-Man; at one point he bypasses a door and busts through a brick wall for no discernible reason. What's Korean for "OH YEAH"?
Bay Coven
If I ever end up on death row, my last request will be to watch "Bay Coven," because the movie is so interminable it makes time slow down; my final moments on Earth will feel like an eternity.
Mega Piranha
If your movie gets its gravitas from Barry Williams, it's got problems bigger than a giant piranha that eats helicopters.
Robot Jox
In the future, your country can lose half its territory because your citizens weren't that into MechWarrior 2.
Justice League
This movie isn't merely ignoring the comic universe, it's puking large pieces of colorful barf all over it.
Think About This: A Workplace Safety Video
Welcome to the factory of the damned - "Modern Times" as directed by Sam Peckinpah and filmed by your cable access station.
Frogs
"This scary movie was so un-scary I was waiting for Count Floyd to come out."